After watching the movie Always a Bridesmaid, I felt inspired to write about FORGIVENESS. The movie’s protagonist struggled so much to forgive those who had hurt her, especially her father for his mistakes and shortcomings. Due to her angry, bitterness and resentment towards her father she almost missed out on loving and being loved by a wonderful man; building the kind of life she had envisioned for herself. Now it may sound super cliché but it’s true, we miss out on good people and sometimes great opportunities when we don’t forgive. C.S. Lewis has a quote that says “we all agree that forgiveness is a beautiful idea until we have to practise it” because the truth is forgiveness is HARD.
 

Firstly, forgiveness isn’t an emotion. It isn’t based on how we feel because often life calls on us to forgive others even when we don’t feel like doing it. So really forgiveness is ultimately a CHOICE. Forgiveness is something we all must be willing to do, not just for the other person but also for ourselves. It’s about choosing not to hold onto an offense against someone. It is choosing not to dwell on the offense or to continue rehearsing it in our minds. It is an act of the will. 
 

Now, life offers us plenty of opportunities to feel unforgiving. It is very easy to lean into and embrace our anger and vengefulness. The only problem is, a lack of forgiveness does more damage to us than the offender as our anger and vengeance consumes us, till we become pieces of the person we use to be. Unforgiveness ultimately holds us in bondage. The effects of unforgiveness can cripple us, make us sick, and cause us to miss out on great experiences as well as great people. It causes us to become hardened, bitter, mean, resentful, and ultimately inwardly ugly. 

Matthew 6: 14-15 tells us that we must be willing to forgive others else we won’t receive forgiveness from our heavenly Father. The premise of this verse is that God extends grace towards us, not because of anything we have done or because we deserve it but simply because He loves us. It is in the same way He hopes that we can exercise and extend this same grace towards others, not because they deserve it but because it pleases Him and shows the kind of love He wants to see in the world. After all, love covers a multitude of sin (1 Peter 4:8). It’s in forgiveness that we can break many perpetual cycles of negativity and hatred. 

Now, no one said that it would be easy, but while forgiveness is hard, the great news is that we don’t have to do it alone. The Lord has offered to be our source, to be anything that we need Him to be as we travel on this journey called life. That is why He says I AM. He is anything we need him to be in whatever season or situation in our lives, whether it is to be our provider, healer, comforter, etc. Therefore, if asked He will give us what it is that we need in order to be able to forgive. 

So, we all have choices, for me, I choose to redefine my role. I choose to no longer be the victim to the persons who have wounded me. I choose to love and to be loved. I choose to be better. I choose to be healed. I choose to FORGIVE. So, I ask, what will your CHOICE BE?

“Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you”.

- Colossians 3:13